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Got a call from my mom, today. My Dad is in ICU, she says. I called my grandmother for some more details.

From what I could gather, he had a heart attack about a month ago, and went in to ICU. Then he came out of ICU, and had a stroke, which sent him back to ICU. Then he came out of ICU, and caught Pneumonia... Which sent him back to ICU. As of this morning, they took him out of ICU for the 3rd time...

I.. never really have had a good relationship with my father. He was an abusive ass, when i was growing up, and it took him years to realize that he had managed to drive away almost anyone who cared about him. Even my grandparents sided with my mom in the divorce... both sets... though they still loved him, he was that bad an ass.

Since then, I've kinda gotten to know him, but I think I can best sum up my feelings as equivalent to what I would feel if a friend had a family member in the hospital. I care, but.. not deeply, or strongly. Even the part of me that thinks I should be disappointed in myself is NOT disappointed in me, and is not upset that it/me is not.

When he had his stroke, he was paralyzed in half his body, but they were able to get his neurons connecting again.. Current feeding through a tube, not sure if he will ever be able to work again.. (he was/is a carpenter by trade, self employed) No insurance. No gap insurance on his mortgage, either.

More details when I have them.

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louisadkins

February 2016

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